Upcoming Events

Playing Mono-Poly: The Monogamy/CNM Dynamic
Online Event
Tuesday, September 12th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

It may seem like everyone is polyamorous right now, or at least wants to be. For some people, though, polyamory and other forms of consensual nonmonogamies (CNM) are not at all appealing. What do you do when you want each other, but one of you also wants…others? Rising interest in CNM means that more and more people are thinking that it might be a good fit for them, but many are already in love with or interested in someone who doesn’t want to have a multiple-partner relationship. This creates the mono/CNM dynamic, where the couple needs to figure out if they can find a common ground that meets everyone’s needs.

This class introduces the origins of the CNM/mono dynamic, explains when it works and when it does not, and explores some of the compromises people are able to craft to navigate these mixed relationships. Using information from 25+ years of research, 10+ years of coaching, and examples from Dr. Eli’s two marriages where she was the monogamous partner in love with someone who wanted CNM, this workshop is based on social science with a healthy dose of lived experience and real-world feelings.

Buddies & Besties: How to Make Friends as an Adult
Online Event
Tuesday, September 19th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

Why is it so hard to make new friends– and build close friendships– as an adult? Nearly half of adults in the US struggle to find friends, and many haven’t made a new friend at all in several years. With so many of us out there longing for the kind of BFFs we had as kids, it’s time to take action to design the social life of our dreams.

Join relationship coach and social butterfly Rebecca Rose Vassy for a virtual workshop that equips you with the tools you need to build and grow a friend group where you’ll thrive. Rebecca was an awkward, unpopular kid who identified with the Misfit Toys, but figured out how to transform loneliness into lively, fun-loving, and lasting social circles that include everything from casual activity buddies to ride-or-die family of the heart

Consensual Nonmonogamy
Online Event
Tuesday, September 26th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

Polyamory, ethical nonmonogamy, monogamish, swinging, relationship anarchy– if the idea of having multiple intimate partners perks your ears up, you may pretty quickly get overwhelmed by the clamor of all the terms, ideas, and definitions being thrown your way. What exactly is “consensual nonmonogamy”, what’s the difference among all these types and flavors, and how do you know where to start exploring?

Sex and relationship educator Katy Harrison takes you by the hand to guide you through the wild world of CNM and gives you the map to begin charting your course. A beginner-friendly blend of helpful vocabulary, basic concepts explained, and a little collective self-reflection gets you past “I don’t know what I don’t know” and ready to explore in real time.

Beyond Finger Guns: Flirting Skills for the Nervous and Awkward
Online Event
Tuesday, October 3rd, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

Stop going endless rounds of “I was just kidding…unless you’re into it?” and learn to flirt with easy charm and calm confidence. Yes, even if you feel hopelessly awkward. Yes, even if you’re shy. Yes, even if you’re neurodivergent!

While some people do seem to be “born flirts”, flirting is absolutely a skill set that you can learn, practice, and get better at over time. Sex and relationship educator Rebecca Rose Vassy has taught many people (including queer and kinky folks) to up their wink-and-a-smile game, and has many practical, concrete strategies to share with you in this workshop.

What’s Your Flavor?: Find Your Type of Nonmonogamy
Online Event
Tuesday, October 10th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

Why is consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) a dream for some people and a disaster for others? This workshop outlines the six most popular forms of CNM in the United States today and explores when they work and when they don’t. From polygamy to relationship anarchy, there are many options for how to structure relationships– and choosing the right one for you makes all the difference.

CNM expert and coach Dr. Eli Sheff gives you the benefit of her 2+ decades’ personal and professional research to help you understand your options and discover your best road to a fulfilling CNM life.

Serving It Up Hot: The Basics of BDSM Service Relationships
Online Event
Tuesday, October 10th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

It’s a common kinky fantasy: imagining your partner faithfully fulfilling your commands– or being rewarded by your partner when you’ve served them well. For some, it’s a dream they long to bring into reality. For others, it’s a source of anxiety or even shame. How do you balance your values of equality and fairness with your deep desire to serve or be served?

Sex and kink educator Katy Harrison offers a mix of practical knowledge and empathetic understanding to novice service tops and bottoms alike. In this virtual workshop, you’ll find a safe space to explore the many ways that BDSM service works in practice, as well as the tools you’ll need to build this dynamic with your partner using informed consent, good communication, and mutual respect.

BDSM 101 for Providers
Online Event
Thursday, October 19th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

More people than ever are bringing kink and BDSM into their lives. It is vital for modern healthcare and mental health professionals to be able to provide understanding and affirming care. This class discusses BDSM and kink through a mental health lens with sex therapist and kink educator AJ Cheyfitz.

Autism, ADHD, and Gender
Online Event
Tuesday, October 24th, 2023 from 7 PM – 8:30 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

What do you need to know when your client stands at the intersection of gender diversity and neurodiversity? How does autism or ADHD impact gender identity and expression? As a clinician providing direct services to clients who are both neurodiverse as well as transgender, nonbinary, or in the process of exploring their gender, you’ll want to be equipped with the latest research and best practices for working with that population.

Reese Hebrank, a licensed clinical social worker, specializes in both neurodiversity and gender diversity. He offers an overview of the most current research into their intersection and a deeper understanding of the needs and experiences of neuro- and gender-diverse populations.

Spicy and Neurospicy: The Intersection of Neurodivergence and Kink
Online Event
Tuesday, October 31st, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

The world of BDSM has its own language, structures, culture, and unwritten rules and expectations, a landscape that’s often both fascinating and confusing to people with autism, ADHD, or other neurodiversities. Your experience in the kink world won’t be the same as someone of a different neurotype, whether you’re neurotypical and your partner is neurodiverse, or vice versa, or even whether you’re not the same type of ND. How do you bridge that gap so that everyone feels seen, heard, safe, and respected?

In this virtual workshop, sex and kink educator Katy Harrison creates a safe and inclusive space to explore the intersection of neurodiversity and kinkiness. Discover where they overlap (and why it seems like so many folks in the BDSM scene are ND!) and what you need to know to feel at home in kink culture.

Swipe Right: Rock Your Dating Apps
Online Event
Tuesday, November 7th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

Can you believe there was a time when using personal ads to date seemed weird or creepy? Now, it sometimes seems like it’s impossible to meet potential partners without using dating apps. If you’re dipping your toes into the wide world of swiping for the first time, or you’ve tried them and gotten burned out, you might be feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Don’t worry—help is at hand!

In this workshop with dating and relationship educator and coach Rebecca Rose Vassy, you’ll get expert guidance for everything from choosing your app, to writing your profile and choosing your picture, to maximizing your chances for a great match.

Raising the Village: Building Nonmonogamous Families as Parents
Online Event
Tuesday, November 14th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

Can kids handle knowing their parents are nonmonogamous? How “out” can you be in your life if you have kids, and what are the risks? What does co-parenting look like in a consensually nonmonogamous (CNM) framework? Nonmonogamy has plenty of challenges when it’s adults without children; navigating it while building a family can feel totally overwhelming!

Using data from her 25+ year study of polyamorous families with children, nonmonogamy coach and expert Dr. Eli Sheff shows how growing up with parents who are involved in CNM relationships can impact children. This workshop explores if, when, and how to come out to kids about CNM, how to manage interactions with families of origin, and what to say at school or in kids’ peer groups.

A Rainbow of Connection: Non-Sexual Intimacy for Loving Partners
Online Event
Tuesday, November 21st, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

What does “intimate” mean to you? We’ve been taught that it’s a euphemism for sex and that it’s inherently erotic. But intimacy simply describes a sense of closeness, of knowing and being known, of being safe and having the freedom to be vulnerable with someone we trust. Our friends in the Asexual and Aromantic communities have started important dialogues about the ways that we can be intimate in addition to, OR instead of, the sexual. Understanding and embracing more types of intimacy helps all of us form deeper, more fulfilling relationships even when we’re not on the ace/aro spectrum.

Join sex educator Katy Harrison for an exploration of the different forms intimacy can take, and how profoundly they can improve your partnerships.

Party Smarter, Not Harder: Party Skills for the Anxious and Awkward
Online Event
Tuesday, November 28th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

You don’t have to be a mega-extroverted social butterfly to have a great time at parties– you just need to learn how to find your happy place hidden within big group settings. With tons of office parties, holiday gatherings, and other event invitations coming our way, it’s time to get under the hood of group social dynamics and learn to make them work in our favor.

Join coach and educator Rebecca Rose Vassy, who specializes in dating, relationships, and socializing, for a virtual workshop about the ultimate social life challenge– the party. Mingling in a crowd can be fun and exciting OR an overwhelming (and oddly isolating) nightmare, but it’s possible to stack the odds in your favor.

Missed Connections: Understanding and Healing Mixed-Libido Relationships
Online Event
Tuesday, December 5th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

Countless partners know the struggle is real– and painful– when one partner wants sex often and the other wants it rarely or not at all. Here’s the good news: It’s not hopeless! Finding a fulfilling middle ground in your mixed-libido relationship can be challenging, but help is at hand.

In this virtual workshop, sex educator Katy Harrison leads you out of conflict and frustration and towards connection and understanding. They’ll analyze the things that create and influence our libidos– and the things that rev them up and shut them down.

The Rules of Threes: Triads, Threesomes, and Unicorn Hunting
Online Event
Tuesday, December 12th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

Triadic sexual encounters and romantic relationships are so common in fantasy and in real relationships throughout history that they’ve taken on an almost mythical appeal. With the dramatic rise of consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) in contemporary society, there are more couples than ever who are seeking to date others as a unit. Some of the couples date with aplomb, having a ton of fun and adventures with each other and the people they date. Other couples end up in drama and disaster, giving all three-way connections a bad rap. Still others get yelled at online, shamed for their desires, and can’t find a date to join them in their fun. It might all have you wondering whether three-ways are even possible outside of fantasy!

In this workshop, nonmonogamy coach and expert Dr. Eli Sheff explains what unicorn hunting means and how it differs from being in a triad/throuple or having an ethical threesome. She explores the dynamic of unicorn hunting from both the hunters’ perspective and the unicorn’s, identifying common pitfalls and how to avoid them.

Fabulous First Dates
Online Event
Tuesday, December 19th, 2023 from 7 PM – 9 PM
$40 (sliding scale available)

What if you could go on first dates that WEREN’T awkward or nerve-wracking—and were actually *fun*? It doesn’t have to be left up to the whims of destiny; you have the power to make that happen more often than not. With a little advance planning and a few easy-to-learn social strategies, you can turn your dating dread into delight.

In this workshop with sex and relationship educator Rebecca Rose Vassy, you’ll learn what elements are in your hands for first-date success, and how to use them to your (and your date’s) best advantage. You’re not going to get sleazy pickup artist gimmicks or over-the-top love-bombing tips—this class is all about being authentic and approachable and making smart choices for yourself. You’ll discover socially-savvy techniques for putting both/all of you at ease and making connections in a genuine, no-pressure way so that your best selves can come out to play.

Podcast:

Leading Edge Love – Tamara Pincus, Licensed Social Worker, Sex Therapist, Author

This week, her guest is Tamara Pincus, Licensed Social Worker, Sex Therapist & Author (www.tamarapincus.com).  Sumati Sparks, The Open Relationship Coach, (www.SumatiSparks.com) offers coaching sessions via video conferencing, telephone or in person in the San Francisco Bay Area.

LISTEN HERE

The Swingset invites Tamara Pincus and Rebecca Hiles, authors of the new book “It’s Called Polyamory” onto the show to discuss the many things people both new and experienced to nonmonogamy, specifically, polyamory, may encounter. They join Dylan Thomas, Dr. Liz Powell, and Chris Pent.

Book Tamara to speak

Polyamory is the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate partner.

As a certified sex therapist and psychotherapist, who has also made her own journey through the sexual exploration and acceptance, I am able to bring a unique perspective…

For a lay audience, I have offered classes called “Ask the Sex Therapist” where people can find out what they need to know about sexual functioning, BDSM, Sexual Orientation gender identity and ethical non-monogamy.

I have spoken at such events as the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, AASECT, Greater Washington Society for Clinical Social Work, SSSS, Catalyst Con, Lotus Blooms and the University of Maryland

In the past I have given talks on: How to be a poly friendly therapist Ethics in psychotherapy

BOOK TAMARA TO SPEAK

Past Events

Making Love to the Whole Body
Saturday, January 4th, 2020

Bring in the new year with a chance to get into your body and learn how to engage your whole self in your sexual expression. This workshop will teach you the basics of sacred sexuality in a comfortable space where consent is valued. We will start with the breath and then move on to some hands on exercises with partners. You can bring a partner or pair up with someone else in the workshop. We will start at the top of the head and work all the way down to the toes. Clothes will remain on. This workshop is open to people of all genders and sexual orientations. Partial and complete scholarships available.

Poly Millennium Dallas Workshop July 13-15
Coming out as poly, a clinicians perspective

Coming out as poly can move the polyamory movement forward and create more acceptance in the greater culture, however it comes with a variety of risks. This interactive workshop will give us the opportunity to learn from each other about various factors impacting coming out experiences including cultural and religious factors as well as personal identity with regards to race, gender and sexual orientation. We will also discuss strategies we can use to make coming out as poly a smoother experience. We will discuss whether and how to come out in a variety of settings analyzing advantages and disadvantages along the way. The presenter will then share some of the expertise she has gleaned working with clients and others in the community around their coming out process as well as on a book about coming out as poly. This will include some of her own personal coming out experiences.