How can I support you?

You don’t have to do it alone.

“Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.” - David Richo

Due to the current pandemic, we are providing secure online sessions, and requiring masks and proof of vaccination for in-person sessions.

As of Jan. 1, 2022, we are required to provide a standard notice explaining your right to a Good Faith Estimate of service costs under the No Surprises Act. Read and save our notice.


 

We now have therapy groups!

 

Individual Counseling

All of us have problems at times, periods when we’re depressed or anxious, when life’s stresses seem overwhelming. Most of the time we can resolve these problems ourselves. But sometimes we can’t; sometimes it’s just smarter to seek the help of experts. Because my approach is so practical and down-to-earth, we can often get your life back on track in just a few sessions – what is called “solution-focused” treatment. Other times, you may be seeking therapy for a different reason: you might have reached a point in your life where you realize you repeat self-destructive patterns, and you want to stop. Through long-term counseling – six months or longer – you can make deep, permanent changes, reverse your negative cycles, and prevent future repetitions of chronic problems.

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Relationship Counseling

For many of us, problems with our partners can be the most frustrating issues we have to face, leaving us feeling upset, overwhelmed, and miserable. We start our relationships feeling hopeful, buoyant, and exhilarated, believing we have found our ‘soul mate’. Symptoms of a relationship in trouble can include one or more of the following: you don’t have fun with each other any more; your sex life is unsatisfying or non-existent; you have angry, escalating arguments where you say hurtful, mean things to each other; you are cold and distant with each other; you disagree over everything, even when you know the issues are trivial. Couples therapy can teach clients communication skills, which allow clients to address any issues that are causing residual resentment, anger or other problems.

The approach I use in relationship therapy is not based on the idea that a couple will necessarily stay together. That is not always the best outcome, but my services are designed to help improve communication and help people discover what the best outcome is for them. This can also be helpful for parents who are breaking up but who still need to communicate to raise their children together.

I have experience in working with people in open relationships of a variety of types and I am willing and able to do therapy sessions with people in relationships that involve more than two participants. I also have experience helping couples who are in the process of opening their relationships manage the complicated feelings that can arise.

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Sex Therapy

A large majority of people of people experience sexual difficulties of some sort in their lives. These include lack of desire, difficulty reaching orgasm, problems maintaining arousal, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, vaginal pain and general sexual dissatisfaction. These problems can be caused by anxiety and stress, lack of sexual knowledge and/or experience, childhood trauma, relational difficulties, and physical problems. Our culture has an inexcusable lack of good basic pleasure focused sex education, which can leave people at a loss as to how to deal with these issues.

In addition people frequently have sexual desires that are a part of their psyche which are not a part of their current interactions with their partners. Sex therapy can help people come to terms with the reality of the things that arouse them and learn how to incorporate those activities into their interactions with partners or their personal experience. Sometimes this process also involves helping clients learn good dating skills and find partners.

Sex therapy never involves direct sexual experience in the therapist’s office. Through individual and couples therapy, sex therapy helps people explore and understand the origin of their sexual difficulties, provides specific knowledge about sexual function and suggests methods to increase sexual satisfaction.

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Clinical Supervision

Therapists in the field often benefit from having someone to discuss cases with and get support and advice. As a certified sex therapist with a long history of working with clients in kink, polyamorous, swing and LGBTQIA communities I can give you a unique perspective and set of tools to use with clients. The goal of clinical supervision is to help you build the confidence and theoretical knowledge that you need to do the work. In addition I can help you develop marketing strategies to help you build your practice.

 

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Dating Coaching

As human beings, we feel a deep survival need for love and connection. Those of us who seek intimate romantic and/or sexual relationships, however, often run into an obstacle: the prospect of dating scares or intimidates us! It’s natural to feel anxiety about the idea of trying to meet and date new people. After all, very few of us were taught anything about how to actually do it. If you’re interested in “getting out there”—whether you’ve been single, you’re newly divorced or separated, or you’re ethically non-monogamous—and you wish you had a fairy godparent to get you ready for the ball, we’re here to help. Our services include guidance from a sex-positive, Western NeoTantra-trained coach about every aspect of your dating life.

The dating journey is a journey of personal growth. Together with your coach, you will get to know yourself and your most authentic desires, and identify areas of self-work. You’ll set realistic goals, learn to spot “red flags” to avoid as well as spotting encouraging “green flags”, and plan the steps you’ll take between sessions. Some of the work you’ll do will be very practical, like learning to write dating profiles or understanding the unwritten rules of communities like the BDSM world. Other work will not only support your dating life, but will move you toward a more fulfilling and happier life in general.

Just as you do regular care and maintenance on your car, your home, and your physical health, so is it helpful to do care and maintenance on yourself as a person and a potential partner. If your intention is to find and build some of the most important relationships in your life, you can get the support you need to set yourself up for success.

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Opening Up Coaching

“Opening Up” is the phrase commonly used by people who are moving from a monogamous (or “closed”) relationship to a non-monogamous one. Clients who come for Opening Up Coaching have maybe read books or tried opening up before but they have hit a snag or made a mistake and someone got hurt. Or maybe the clients are new to non-monogamy altogether and they do not want to become one of the horror stories they hear from friends or the internet. While we believe there is no “perfect” way to practice non-monogamy, we offer our expertise to give you the best tools possible and support you through your first few steps. Opening Up is a topic covered in both therapy and coaching. Therapy is a better fit for relationships where one or more people are skeptical about opening up while coaching is a great option for people who are both motivated to open up (even if really scared or managing jealousy).

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Breathwork Coaching

Learning to consciously use your breath can be one of the most transformative actions you can take in life. Breathing keeps us centered in the present moment, it helps us fully inhabit our bodies, and it allows us the space to listen deeply to our innermost selves. During breathwork coaching, you will be taught a variety of breathing exercises, led through guided meditations, and even shown how to use vocal sound to work through obstacles and blockages. Our breathwork coaching services focus in particular on sexual and relational wellness, but they can also help with a wide range of life concerns including personal excellence, major transitions, career, stress management, and body image. As with all our coaching services, you and your coach may choose to take a blended approach that incorporates different aspects of the types of coaching we offer.

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Embodiment Coaching

Your body carries and protects you through decades of life, and it has wisdom to share with you. In embodiment coaching, the goal is to support you in learning to connect with and fully inhabit your body, paying attention to its signals, and giving it the love and nurturing it needs. You may also learn somatic techniques to involve your body as a more active partner in any areas of life you’re working on. Our embodiment coaching focuses on sexual and relational wellness as well as body image and confidence. We may use Western Neo-Tantric techniques, intuitive art and music/sound exercises, and energy work such as Usui Reiki. This form of coaching may also support you in work you wish to do in other areas of life as well. Embodiment coaching can help you if you are exploring your gender or sexuality, trying to become ready to enter into intimate relationships and/or a new form of relationships such as BDSM or polyamory, seeking support for transforming your feelings about your body, or looking for techniques to connect more deeply on a physical and/or sexual level with one or more partners. You and your coach may also decide to take a blended approach with our other types of coaching, depending on your needs.

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Spirituality Coaching

Many of us have little experience navigating the spiritual side of our lives outside of any religion we may have been raised in, and yet feel a strong pull to explore our beliefs and develop meaningful practices. We offer coaching with a seminary-ordained interfaith minister who has worked with people across the spectrum of religious and spiritual experiences to feel fulfilled in this part of their lives. We do not promote any one belief system or religion; we do not think there is “one true way” and we are fully supportive of any healthy, fulfilling, and non-coercive spiritual structure. This form of coaching is appropriate for anyone who:

 

  • Has experienced religious injury and needs support and guidance to explore ways to understand and transform that pain. This may include shedding harmful beliefs and gaining the confidence to choose how you will approach your spirituality (including letting go of all religious/spiritual beliefs altogether)
  • Desires to learn sacred sexuality practices such as Western Neo-Tantra and to integrate your sexual self with your spirituality
  • Is seeking to transition to a new spiritual path and need help discovering and getting started on that path, even if you have no background in spirituality and religion at all and simply wish to explore what’s out there
  • Feels a need to develop regular spiritually-based practices and routines that are meaningful and fulfilling, and wants help developing and structuring them
  • Struggles to reconcile your sexual self with your religious/spiritual values and beliefs
  • Wants to approach one or more issues in your life (such as job, relationships, gender identity, etc.) through spirituality techniques including ritual, meditation, and energy work.

Because issues of spirituality and religion often reflect deep emotional or psychological concerns or may be entwined with trauma, spirituality coaching can be mutually supportive with therapy. Therapy addresses areas that need healing and mental health treatment, while coaching offers guidance and frameworks for integrating spirituality into everyday life.

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Body Image/Self-Expression Coaching

In a world full of toxic body-shaming beliefs and expectations, living comfortably and confidently in your body is no easy thing to do. Add to that confusing and artificial gender roles, sexual fears, and a whole lot of systemic oppression across all aspects of identity, and it’s no wonder so many of us have a difficult relationship with our bodies.

Get personalized, supportive guidance on your journey of body affirmation and personal expression. At The Pincus Center, we reject diet culture and believe in each individual’s agency over their own body and how they present it to the world. Together with your coach, you’ll establish a safe, sympathetic container for the work YOU want to do; whether that’s figuring out how to make peace with your body’s changes, how to fully inhabit your body, or how to develop a personal aesthetic that expresses the true you. Your coach will be able to make recommendations to other body-affirming professionals when you need an area of expertise outside of coaching. When it comes to the one body you get to inhabit in this lifetime, there truly is no place like home—so let us help you feel welcome there.

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Feminine Empowerment Coaching

Femininity is not weakness, but many of us have been taught that we have to choose between our femininity and our agency and power. As a result, we find ourselves struggling to be heard and valued in our careers, our relationships, and even in our everyday interactions. We may try to make ourselves smaller and doubt whether we deserve to take up space.

This coaching is ideal for anyone of any gender who is seeking models of feminine power and strength, and who wants clear strategies and exercises to develop confidence and assertiveness. You’ll work with your coach to overcome self-sabotaging behaviors, build leadership skills, practice asking for what you need and want, and establish or reinforce boundaries. Discover the joy and playfulness in this process, as your coach employs tactics from BDSM, burlesque, or witchcraft (if you welcome that) to help you find your most authentic empowered self. Your feminine aesthetic and qualities aren’t at odds with your strength; they inform it. Let’s discover what that looks like for you.

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Social and Communication Skills Coaching

Human beings are deeply social by nature, so being able to talk and relate well to others is a skill set that can improve every area of your life. Yet most of us are expected, after childhood, to “just know” how to play well with others. If social interaction feels like a language that everyone else speaks more fluently than you, or even if you simply feel like there are a few rough spots you’d like to work on, this type of coaching is for you.

Through exploration, exercises, and practice with your coach, you’ll work on skills that could include conversations (one on one or in groups), understanding and respecting personal space, speaking more inclusively, understanding body language and facial cues, making and maintaining friendships, planning and hosting events, and effectively managing conflict. If your career path requires public speaking, you can also work on your skills as a presenter, with a coach who is professionally theatrically trained and has worked with people from intern to executive on their public speaking skills. Socializing doesn’t have to be agony—discover the joy of authentic, confident human connection with coaching that meets you where you are.

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